Sunday, 4:15 pm

When a hard working science student, bleary-eyed from reading countless journal articles that have been out of date for the past 40 years, finally finds that one article that is tangentially related to some small point in his grant application, it's a pretty big moment. After having been on the 9th floor for 7 continuous hours and now descending to our favorite 24-hour study center, looking for a reprieve from the repressive silence (science?) of the stacks, this intrepid science student was met with a complete and total photocopier meltdown. On the scale of Chernobyl, terror was felt throughout the Frisc as this frantic student went from one machine to the next attempting to photocopy this now irrelevant article. 1 yellow busted sign, 1 partial, but significant lack of toner and 2 paper jams later, this science student all but admitted defeat in the face of the technological powers of the Frisc "Could I just check the book out?", the now severely depressed science student asks. "No", says the clearly overwhelmed student worker, about 5 minutes away from the end of his shift, "it's a periodical, building only".

Well then, all this poor science student needed to do was photocopy 10 pages of a stupid article from 1967 and then he could go have his first meal since the bacon, egg, and cheese bagel, from what now seems like an age ago. Clearly sensing the desperation in this sad student's voice, the student worker heads back to get one of the more technologically savvy luddites workers, who, clearly frustrated from being called during their break, opens a few doors and somehow manages to instantly fix a previously insurmountable paper jam. At least we can say one thing about the Frisc, those binder-midner things certainly do make photocopying enjoyable.

— Ethan Mack, Guest Columnist